Monday, November 14, 2011


I wish I were talking about spinning wool into thread because really, that would be an awesome skill to know, and would likely not cause me to vomit upon completion.

Yup. I did that.

One of the perks of working at UNE is that I get to use the fitness center for free (suck it, USM) and that includes classes! I'd done spinning before, way back in high-school/ early college days and remembered it being a hell of a work out. Since I'm trying to get in shape to look good in a wedding dress (yikesbikes) I thought I'd take the spin class Tuesday night at UNE. I laced up my sneaks, brought a towel and waited in the lobby with the other members. To my surprise and delight, the class was very very small. There was at least one other employee there, and she's my age, and a few really nice students. The instructor Molly, is a very nice adjunct faculty member at the University. They all immediately made me feel welcomed.

I don't know how many of ya'll have taken a spin class, but boy howdy (I'm not sure where this southern drawl is coming from) is it a work-out. I knew going into it that it would be intense, but wow. My heart was beating out of my chest earlier in the work-out than I'd care to admit. Molly had turned the lights down and the music up, and the vibe was all good. It didn't feel like people were judging me. What's nice about spin is that you control the resistance, so no one can really see where you're at. You can go at your own pace. I didn't want to skimp out; I knew I needed to ease in, but I did want to get something out of it, so I pedaled my ass off (more on my ass later) and broke a sweat.

About 10 minutes from the imaginary finish line, I had heart-burn that was out of control and I was a bit light-headed. I wolfed down an apple before class because I was STARVING which proved to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. Molly got off her bike and came over to me (oh the embarrassment) and came to check if I was okay. I slowed down my pedaling and took some deep breaths. I finished out slow and easy, but I finished!

My legs were jelly, but my hips and back didn't hurt (great success) but during the cool down stretch my body was like "Yo what the hell did you just do? You're not in good enough shape for this," and I got that sweaty, mouth-watery, dizzy, stomach turn-y vomit feeling. Molly could tell, asked me if I need the bathroom and I grunted and pointed at the trashcan. Yes. Right there in front of everyone. I ralphed in the trashcan. It kind of made me feel like a champion. Or a lame-ass. Or a combination of both. People were sweet about it, not hanging around, saying "Its fine, no worries" when I bemoaned my embarrassment. Someone even put my bike away for me. A sweet student named Kaitlyn walked me to my car, she wanted to be sure I wasn't going to pass out. Faith in humanity= still alive!

Truthfully, I felt much better after barfing, and I vow never to eat ANYTHING before the gym again. In the days that followed, still no hip or back pain, legs felt good, but Lord Almighty, my ASS. I felt like my butt was going to fall off. Sitting down for any period of time hurt. If I could have gotten a good look at my own undercarriage, I am certain it would have been black and blue and purple. I have an admittedly bony ass and I've always known it. If I had forgotten, that class reminded me. Cyclists/spinners- how do you deal with that?!

Call me crazy, I'm going back tomorrow. I would have gone Thursday last week, but I needed to eat dinner and leave for Bates for a concert and I didn't want to be exhausted and sore. I'm nervous, but also I can't wait. In my head, I imagined them in class Thursday night saying "wow I'm totally not surprised that Maria girl isn't here. Poor thing. We'll never see her again." I can't wait to prove them wrong.



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