Hard time

So, how did the MRI on Thursday go, you're wondering? It started out ok, but towards the end, I had a bit of a panic. It felt like there was something digging into the back of my head the whole time, which apparently I could do nothing about because I am not supposed to move. Last time I made it through pretty well, but this time my heart was racing and I knew I needed to get out. I think there was only about 15 minutes, but I hit the panic button. The attendant "buzzed" in and I told her I had to get out. Maybe I should go see a hypnotist re: claustrophobia? Or just never have another MRI.

Follow-up again on the 15th. Then we'll get to see what's going on.

MK

Claustrophobia part 2

On Monday, I had the follow up to the MRI. Have any of you looked at the MRI results? Its just a bunch of white splotches on a black background. He shows me the screen and tells me things and I smile and nod because I don't see any of what he is talking about, really. The scoliosis that has been there since I was a kid is still there (duh). Dr. Findlay said he saw some minor swelling in the lumbar spine and could see signs of early arthritis. I was not surprised by this; "Old Arthur" (as my dad calls Arthritis) runs in the family. Findlay made a dejected sort of face when he told me this: "you're too young", he said. I just shrugged; its there, not a lot I can do about it. The next plan of action is, you guessed it, another MRI. WOOHOO. This time it will be on the cervical spine; to rule out some other scary things. He didn't see anything glaringly wrong with the lumbar spine besides the scoli, so now its time to rule out anything in the cervical spine.

I hate it when the doctor tells you he can't see anything wrong. Just the day before the appointment, my whole lower body hurt so much. I'm still getting that "dead-leg" pain and numbness, which I had always attributed to my hip. Its something to do with my back, the doc said. Chris, my PT told me as much too. Its just a matter of finding what the cause is. But of course, Monday at the appointment I felt fine, so it was harder to describe the pain. Like bringing the car to the mechanic because its making a funny noise, and the noise stops when you get there. He definitely believed there was something wrong and he's seen patients like me, with the scoli and the hyper-mobility issues. Its just frustrating to not be able to pin-point things.

Monday I also had my last PT session (for my hip anyway) with Chris. It was a little sad- we always have fun ragging on each other, and despite the hard work, I always leave there in a god mood and feeling physically good. I wish I could hire him to just drive his elbow into my glutes/hips every day. Man that feels good. I got a little spoiled because it was my last visit. He and Dr. Findlay seem to think some "core" PT will help with my spine issues, so I may be back there again at some point. Chris made me promise I'd request him, which of course I will. I may have to reserve a table in there at this point. Haha

Yesterday my hip hurt again- go figure! I "graduate" from PT and then two days later my hip aches again. It felt like if I moved my left hip too far outward, my leg would fall off. I was feeling some scraping of bone again; I must have done something to it in my sleep. I'm still healing, I have to remember that.

So tonight, I climb back into:

and try not to hyperventilate. Wish me luck!

Nothing says good morning like...

waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to have an MRI. That was the story for me last Friday. Coming off a St. Patty's Day buzz, I stumbled out of bed at 7:00, threw on some sweats and made my way to the OA center. There was no need to shower or beautify because I wasn't doing anything but lay down in a tiny tube for 40 minutes and panic. Oh joy.

I get there, and the whole place is more or less dark. I was there before most of the staff. Its 7:15 and all I want to do is go back to sleep, but I have a knot the size of Mt. Washington in my belly. I'm already feeling the anxiety of my claustrophobia and I'm only in the waiting room. The sweet lady at the front said "ok I can take you out back now." We walk through that maze of a building and land in another waiting room. She was shocked to see on my file that my insurance was going to cover the procedure 100%. "Where do you work and are there openings?" she asks. We talked for a bit about jobs and the economy, my hip surgery and books (I had brought The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) to read while waiting. Then she has me look through a book of possible music choices. I know from my first MRI back in August that it doesn't matter what I listen to, I will barely hear it anyway. I choose John Mayer's Heavier Things because I dig it and its kind of mellow. Then I wait an excruciating 20 minutes. The intake nurse comes out and said they are running behind because the girl in there now is highly claustrophobic and keeps freaking out and having to get out of the machine. Yikes bikes.

I try to breathe deep and get more lost in my book. I was supposed to go in at 7:45 and its 8:15. I just want to get it over with. I also try to remember that I took half a Xanax so I wouldn't have a panic attack. The last thing I want is to be like the girl before me and have to extend the miserable process even longer. Finally, I get to go in and in a moment of panic, I realize I forgot to take my bra off. Obvs, no metal can go into a giant magnet machine, and my bra had an under wire. I thought I was all prepared, wearing sweats with no metal or zippers, but I forgot about my boob-hammock. I run back to the bathroom/locker room and take it off, breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't have some scary House moment where the machine broke or something scary happened.

When I get into the room, the technician started the music and told me it would be only 25 minutes- which made me breathe a bit easier. I laid down on the table, she put the headphones on me, gave me the panic button and sent me in. The sultry sounds of John Mayer eased my mind a bit, but all the loud buzzing and banging gave me a headache. I made the mistake of opening my eyes, only to see that my nose is only a tenth of an inch from the plastic and I immediately shut them tight. I feel like there's no way out. The technicians voice comes through the headphones informing me I am "doing great" and that I am "halfway done." I could have sworn I'd been in there half a DAY already. Blerg.

Its all over after 25 minutes of loud noises. I grab Ethan at the office so he can have the car. I go home change and decide to wear my favorite flats because the sun is out and I want to boost my mood. Ethan drops me off, I step out onto what looked like dry grass and hear a disgusting squish noise. This tells me that I have stepped in mud. My foot was fully covered. As I squish my way into the building I detour to the bathroom, cursing my bad morning. I wash my foot and proceed to my office. The day did get gradually better, but an early morning MRI and then stepping in mud in my favorite shoes (the shoes are fine- they stood up well and cleaned up easy!) was not how I wanted my Friday morning to begin.

Now its a waiting game to see what the magic magnet reveals about my spine. April 4th is the follow-up with the doctor, unless they find anything "that needs immediate attention." Oh joy.

I'll be sure to keep you posted.

xoxo

MK

Progress

About 2 weeks ago, I got clearance from PT Chris to get on the elliptical Ethan and I have at home. I've been leery about doing so, since I'm having this new back issue. However, Monday night I decided that I was going to try it out. My Lent discipline this year is to cut out sweets, so getting more exercise is an added bonus of fitness. I did 20 minutes on the variable intensity workout. I was able to keep up, and didn't feel any hip pain! I had forgotten how good it felt to do an awesome cardio workout. Physical therapy has really been all strength training, so I've been missing the cardio element. I also got on last night and did 15 minutes at high intensity. My muscles are a bit sore today, but only in the manner I'd expect them to be after not having really worked out in a few months. It feels amazing to get back into working out. Yesterday was really stressful, and the intense workout made me feel better!

The need to report this as part of the hip story is that I had to stop working out pre- surgery for the pain (I also met Ethan and got swept away by love etc etc lol) and I've always had pain after working out. Now that's no more, so it feels worth sharing!

Bikini 2011- here I come! :)


MK

A back story?

I know its been a while since I updated. There hasn't, in truth, been too much to report. PT is going well. I am down to once a week through March, then every couple of weeks as needed. Exercises are to be done on my own. I feel a lot stronger; I can even feel my ab muscles being more defined, which is an awesome bonus.

The left hip being fixed has shifted my focus to my right hip, which like the left prior to surgery, has its good days and bad days. I follow up with Alli in May and we'll see where things stand. An interesting new thing, is happening however. I've been having increased back pain, as well as numbness/tingling in my feet at PT. I am still also having the "dead-leg" pain and numbness in both legs periodically (something I had attributed to the hip problem). My hands and arms also go numb during some PT sessions. Chris mentioned this to Alli one night when she was passing through on her way out of the office We chatted and decided I should see the spine specialist. Chris can't progress me any further at PT right now because of the back/ tingling problem. Alli made the referral the next morning and put me at the top of the list to get me in to see Dr. Findlay, the spine specialist. She went out of her way; I swear OA has the best people on the planet. Including Alli, I see three 4 doctors and a physical therapist at OA. I am definitely a regular there now.

I had the spine appointment today with Dr. F and he is super nice. Ethan sees him too for his neck/back, so I knew he was a good guy. We took some x-rays and went over the history. I told him about how I have scoliosis and had a brace for it when I was in middle school. It never goes away, so I thought that might be the problem. He took a look at me and the x-rays and figured the scoliosis is idiopathic and that I am very loose-jointed. Most of my joints hyperextend, and my ligaments are very loose. Dr. F said that all of these factors are related and may have contributed to the hip issue. He decided he wanted to take an x-ray of my lumbar (lower) spine and work from there. The MRI is on Friday morning. We shall see.

Anyway, that's the latest development. Add it to the list of things! At least all the doctors/records are in one place, and everyone is awesome. I'll keep you all posted with treatment, etc.

MK

Another Milestone

Its New Year's Eve eve, and I have much to be thankful for! Today marks the 3rd week since surgery. At this time 3 weeks ago, I was under-the-knife. Time has just flown by so so fast! I still can't believe it.

Today is a big day for another reason- I'm getting the stitches taken out! That will make me feel even more healed. They've been itchy, which I guess means the incisions are healing, but I haven't been scratching because I was afraid of tearing the stitches out. I am curious to see what the scars will look like. Thank goodness they are small!

Physical therapy is going very well. Chris says I am moving well for being just 3 weeks out and I feel stronger every day! I've graduating to using one crutch the rest of this week and then (Happy New Year!) I don't have to use it unless I feel like I need to. Progress progress progress! I'll still be doing PT in January- I've booked through the end of the month.

One of the great things about next week is that I can return to work! I stopped by the Portland and Gorham offices on Wednesday, which was really nice. It got me excited to go back. Being home has been nice, but I'm a little stir-crazy. I need to get back into routine. I've been having trouble sleeping, and its because I am not really getting the same mental and physical stimulation I was used to pre-surgery, so I'm not really as tired. Makes sense. I used to be a champion sleeper, and these 3 weeks have been dicey. I'm only going back part time for the first week, but hopefully that will get me headed in the right direction and sleeping again.

2010 has been quite a ride, and I am so excited to start 2011 healthy and strong! I'm not done yet, but none-the-less I am feeling good, and should be pain-free by summer. That's an exciting prospect!

Have a wonderful, safe and healthy new year celebration. Catch you in 2011!

MK

Two weeks

Merry Christmas to me (well, a bit early, but still)! Today is the two week mark since my surgery! It is hard to believe that time has gone by so fast already. Its a pretty big milestone too- I no longer have to wear the daytime or nighttime brace! Now I just have to figure out what to do with them. I am sure they can be donated somewhere. If anyone knows a place, please let me know.

I've really been enjoying physical therapy! I can feel myself getting stronger in many ways already! Chris, my physical therapist says he's impressed with how quickly I am progressing! My range of motion is already really good. There are a whole bunch of strength and motion exercising as well as biking. I can only do 15 minutes on the bike, but its something! I've realized that I've been moving incorrectly my whole life! Now's the time for me to start moving in the right direction- literally! And a lot of the exercises are good for my right hip/leg too. I know its working because I'm sore and sweaty when I come home. It feels so good to be moving though! I'll need the crutches for an other two weeks probably, but I am allowed to start putting more weight on that leg. Progress!

Tomorrow is Christmas eve. Tonight, I hope to get some solid sleep! I've had trouble sleeping since the surgery and I've been pretty dependent on Tylenol PMs. Hopefully I will start sleeping like normal soon. Its been nice to have the mornings to sleep in though. Regardless of mild sleeplessness, I LOVE this time of year. :) Ethan's brother Isaac came home from NYC with some friends that I've met before and they came over last night with his sister Brecken. It was nice to hang out and have some drinks and some laughs. We even had a dance party- I can make crutches groove like nobody's business! Hahaha I even got to have my Christmas present from Ethan early! Its a gorgeous diamond and sapphire ring (pictures to follow soon) that I totally love. He's been so supportive and helpful and loving, I feel I owe him- though he tells me that's not the case. I am just glad to have him this Christmas. I can't really ask for anything more.

I hope you all enjoy your holidays!

Xoxo

MK