And now, a PSA:

UNE takes care of its students and staff. Why do I say this? I've been working there just shy of one year and have been bombarded with gratefully able to participate in a variety of employee and university-wide health events. Back in August of 2011 there was the wellness walk and in the fall there was the HR wellness fair (I won a cheese plate in the raffle! win!). Every 8 weeks or so UNE also sponsors a Red Cross Blood drive (I donate every time; you're welcome hospitals) and just today I participated in the university wide health and wellness fair. Kendra and I received seated massage and foot reflexology. They offered bio-metric screenings for anyone that wanted one, with nurses on staff to discuss results. My health is very important to me, so naturally I partook in the screenings. Okay. Maybe there was also free food. And the massage was a nice incentive. But still. I did it and that's all that matters.

Seriously. Donate blood. It's free and it saves 3 lives!

The results of my screening were very good. Included were BMI, HDL (the good cholesterol), blood pressure, blood glucose, body fat percentage, heart disease risk, etc. I basically got an A+ on everything. I only recently (since our engagement party) obtained a scale but I'd say since my freshman year of undergrad, I've lost 30 pounds. This morning when I stepped on the scale as I do about 2 times a week,  I hit a milestone I've been trying to reach for a while! I spent the morning hoping that when I stepped on the medical-grade scale at the screening that it would read the same weight (it did!). The nurse told me to keep doing what I'm doing; and then she told me that she was jealous of my blood pressure (110/76, baby). What an interesting compliment. But, yay? I have very low risk for heart disease and diabetes, which is good since I have a family history of both.

Come to think of it, my family history weighs on my greatly. While I know that cancer isn't necessarily preventable and can strike even the healthiest of people (I'm fairly certain my mom was pretty healthy when she was diagnosed) I've been doing what I can to stay healthy to reduce the risk. Dad has a host of health troubles, but I know that much of his are due to lifestyle (he smoked for 40+ years [he quit], has a sedentary lifestyle and eats poorly). Still, there's history there, so that's good motivation to stay healthy. The secondary motivation is that I want to bear children in the next 5 or so years and I want to be healthy for that.

Someday, we'll get rid of cancer. I know it!

Ethan and I have decided we need to take up a sport together (I know, I know, me? A sport?) to get/stay more active. After much consideration of our terrible skeletons and my severe lack of balance, etc, we landed on tennis. I always liked tennis when we played at school and I am killer at Wii tennis. It's medium impact (+1 for being joint friendly) high intensity & cardio (+2 for exercise) and will be an excellent test in hand-eye coordination (-2 because I suck at this part). Stay tuned for some hilarious tennis-related updates this spring. I am sure I'll be a hot tennis-mess but at least we'll be working out together.

This is a preview of what I'll probably look like playing tennis!

I'm feeling pretty good overall these days. The tests today showed that I am actually healthy, and I think that's pretty damn hip.

Pundits, Personhood and The Pill

For those of you who are my FB friends (when I'm not on a Facebook Lenten fast), today's post will not surprise you. Many of you know that I would often post links to articles on topics I am passionate about, and I was [am] not above letting it stir up controversy. When I started this blog, I had no idea where it would take me beyond my surgery and I was sure it would evolve but I never wanted, or expected it to be a venue for me to express my thoughts about religion or politics. However, in light of the events of recent weeks, the fact that I am Facebook-dry and most importantly, the public attempts to belittle and silence women, I have to speak.

Election seasons are always somewhat crazy; the mud-slinging and empty promises and the "he said/she said" party polarization becomes difficult to watch. Since I became old enough to vote, I have always made an effort to follow the elections in order to make an informed decision for my vote. This season is not much different except that it has me really, really pissed off. Pissed off and scared. This year's pool of GOP candidates has left much to be desired. I could talk about the blatant disregard of civil rights for the GLBTQ population, but perhaps I'll save that for another post. Suffice it to say, I am proud to see gay marriage bills being passed in seven (?) states so far and hope there are more to come. What I am currently so angry and exasperated about is the attack on women's rights that is sure to have many disastrous consequences.

A whole gaggle of misogynist crazies!

In recent months, many lawmakers, public figures and media pundits have done their best to show the United States that they feel as though they have a right to dictate what a woman can and cannot do with her uterus. Now, since the era of Roe v. Wade, abortion has been a hot button issue. It usually comes up each Presidential election season among the platforms of would-be candidates. For the GOP this year (and particularly in the group above) it seems to be the only issue. And, abortion is not alone. For some reason, all these rich, "Christian," white, penis-bearers seem to think that they know what's best for women, and wish to make us void of any form of choice about anything relating to our sexuality, sexual health, and conception practices. What law-makers all over this country (not just those running for Commander in Chief) are doing with their law making is basically misogyny, thinly veiled with a guise of Christianity.

Allow me for a moment, to focus on Rick Santorum. I have already made it known to Ethan and to pretty much anyone else who'll listen that should this man for some God-awful reason become our next President, I am purchasing a one-way ticket to Norway and taking my uterus with me. But I digress. All I know about how this man would run the country is that women would basically be sent back to the kitchen, be forced into  being baby-factories and every school would have prayer time. Oh, and also, homosexuals would have to be forced into 'treatment' for their 'gayness.' Santorum and others have completely blurred the line that separates church and state. They can worship on Sunday at any church they choose, teach their children whatever good Christian values they believe in, but when they return to the office Monday morning, I do not expect them to make laws based solely on their religious beliefs. That's not how the job works. Rick Santorum has spent his whole campaign touting his Catholic values, with a focus on the "family" and "morality." He has said the word "God" more times than I think any politician should. And he and his fellow GOP buddies and ultra-conservative pundits (I'm looking at you Fox Faux news) have centered their attack on women's rights.

I could point to a plethora of articles from a variety of sources highlighting the GOPs position on women's rights, but it would take two or three blog posts to cover them all. Allow me to summarize: pro-lifers are on the same crusade they've always been on to out-law any form of abortion, no matter the terrible circumstances (i.e. rape, incest, unplanned unwanted pregnancies). They've also sprouted more ugly heads, with these so-called "personhood" bills popping up in various states. These laws basically state that life begins at conception, therefore abortion at any stage would be considered murder, but also the "Plan B" morning-after pill would be illegal and perhaps most disturbingly, IVF would no longer be permitted, since not all embryos survive. Birth control has also been creating quite an uproar on the federal level, as under President Obama's health plan, employers would be required to cover birth control and women's health exams. Naturally, the hyper-conservative Christian politicians and pundits got their panties in a twist about that. Sorry, but most women do not want to be Michelle Duggar.

A vagina is not a clown car

The list of attacks on women's rights goes on and on, with panels of all men at a hearing re: the pill issue, constant attempts to de-fund Planned Parenthood,  Newt Gingrich accusing Obama of supporting "infanticide," right up to Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke and any other woman who wants birth control "sluts" and "prostitutes" and not apologizing for it. Rick Santorum was asked a few months ago what he would do in the event that his 14 year old daughter was raped and became pregnant. He basically said he would make his daughter have the baby and give it up for adoption. Not only would she have gone through the physical and emotional pain of being raped, she would also have to go through the physical and emotional pain of pregnancy and childbirth of her rapist's baby. Nice one, Rick. How thoughtful!

Why anyone thinks it's the government's job to be all up in our lady-business and decide what we can and cannot do with our uterus is beyond me. Most of these conservatives say they are driven by God, by their solid, Christian values. Well, let me say this: clearly Santorum's God and mine are not the same. The God I worship gave us free-will, the ability to make decisions for ourselves. The God I worship loves everyone, period.  I'm a practicing Christian woman who uses birth control, has sex and thinks that all loving couples should be able to marry. I am the kind of woman the GOP hates and wishes to silence. What they don't realize is that the women of this country who do not buy into this brand of politics are not going to be silenced, controlled, or regulated. The message is clear; get your politics and your religion out of my uterus.

Here I am less than a week into my Facebook fasting. If I've learned anything so far, it's that most of the websites I go to are in some way or another connected to Facebook. Where I used to click "log in with Facebook" I now have to search my brain for the remnants of some obscure username and password. I've started a list. I don't really miss it yet, though I find myself wondering if anyone has announced a pregnancy or a new job or is in a girl-fight. I have enjoyed my extra time to read and surf other websites. So far, so good, though, I don't feel very hip being disconnected from a world that everyone seems to belong to.

Sorry I'm abandoning you, Zuk. You won't miss one of billions.

On a completely unrelated note, I called the doctor recently; per suggestion of a few people. I scheduled a physical (it's not happening until July) and told the nurse about my concerns. The stumbling, dropping, cold-hands and pain are probably all related to my other issues. She suggested also I may have Raynaud's Syndrome but will not know until she sees me. "Keep your hands warm, gloves etc." said the nurse. Great, I really want to sleep with gloves on! Ugh. We'll see. I'd do a follow-up with Findlay, my spine guy, but I doubt anything different would turn up, and I don't want to go through another MRI. I also have been getting the star treatment from Ethan. He's been rubbing my shoulders and not complaining. He tells me when to heat and when to ice. I have this stubborn spot right around my shoulder blade that's a quarter-sized knot. Hurts like a motherf*cker. My left arm/hand has also been going numb/tingly, which then causes me to drop things. FUN. The doctor's office said it's all part of things I've been diagnosed with before and that unless symptoms get worse or I get more uncomfortable, we can wait til my July appointment. At least for the most part my hip doesn't hurt. I'm way too young for all this.

This is what I feel like on the inside!

The weekend is almost here; Ethan and I went on a date last night to David's in Monument Square, I get to see Kellie and Jenny this weekend, we have double-date plans with Micah and Christina Saturday night and Sunday more wedding planning! Let's just hope I don't have too much pain to deal with this weekend...there's always vodka for that, right?

xoxo
MK

Mild February

As I glance out the window today (it is open right now in fact and a nice breeze is coming in) and see the sunshine and mud, I realize that perhaps I should have titled my last post "Ice Sucks." We've basically had the absence of winter this season. I also just knocked on many wood surfaces, just in case. There are bits of snow here and there; brown-black dirty snow lines the streets making parallel parking difficult but not impossible. Tiny white patches linger in my driveway, on the lawn out back, in piles at the end of parking lots. I find myself thinking about last winter; trudging through the snow both on crutches and not,  hip aching from dragging my heavy-booted feet through ankle [or higher] deep snow. This is a completely different February. For a few weeks now, Roman's parents, who are not native Mainers have been wanting to go cross-country skiing. They schedule a time, plan for me to sit for Roman, and then the place is closed due to lack of snow. Two weekends ago Ethan and I took a walk at Higgin's Beach.

This is currently Maine in FEBRUARY

It's nice to walk around not trudging through snow, being able to wear high-heels (don't worry, I watch out for ice!) and the milder temperatures mean my joints ache less. Still, I can't help but a) worry about getting dumped on in March and April and b) what this means for the global temperatures/ice caps/polar bears. I am not a skier for many reasons, so I'm pretty much okay with the lack of it, but it does make me wonder sometimes.

Now that small-talk about the weather is out of the way, I want to talk about Lent, and my decision to give up Facebook. Lent is a time for sacrifice, reflection, and prayer. Two years ago, I gave up alcohol. Last year, sugar/sweets. This year, I choose Facebook. The reason is twofold: one, because I am addicted to it (I'm not ashamed to say so) and therefore I need a way to cut back and, two, to focus on other forms of more direct communication. I want to have more Skype sessions with friends around the country. I want to talk on the phone, and write personalized e-mails. I love writing and snail-mailing cards. It's very nice to get something in the mailbox that's not junk or bills. So much of our communication these days is indirect; saying "happy birthday" on someone's FB wall when 100 others do the same isn't as special and meaningful as receiving a phone call and/or a card. I want to put in more effort to connect with my friends on a more personal level, and my hope is that they will do the same.

Not as exciting as a letter in the mail

Likewise, I am enjoying blogging, and this medium will likely teach you more about me than any Facebook page. While I like to use Facebook to share things I am passionate about (Ethan, Ophelia, political & social issues) there are other ways to get the word out there. I'm finding myself so passionate and fired-up (and pretty damn pissed off) about what's happening to women's rights all over this country, and I'm looking to start actually doing something about it instead of just talking about it. Maybe giving up Facebook isn't very hip, and maybe it will be a lot harder than I am thinking it will be. Maybe no one will care. I don't know, but I do know that it's what makes sense for me right now.

I will probably spend some of the time I'll save away from Facebook outside with Ethan enjoying what's shaping up to be a very pleasant February.

Enjoying Maine in the...winter?

Winter sucks

Ice is my nemesis. I mean, it's most peoples' least favorite (except of course for hockey players) but I think it's literally out to get me. When one is as clumsy as I am, ice is like the worst imaginable scenario. Sunday morning I planned to visit Trinity Episcopal Church and had to park about a block away (dear Portland, I hate your lack of parking) so I had to walk a ways. I had very sensible shoes on and as I walked, a little nervous about the new environment, I noticed patches of ice around me. Except for one. The one I slipped on. On bricks. I looked like this guy (minus the coffee, thankfully):

Sorry dude. Can I buy you another?

I landed almost flat on my back.  I got up, brushed myself off, did a quick assessment to make sure my hip was still functional (it was sore, but not terribly so) and then looked around in a panic to make sure no one saw me. No one else was on the street and if passers-by in cars saw me, no one stopped. Phew! I hobbled the rest of the way to the church doors, literally praying that I didn't look as disheveled as I felt. If anyone noticed, they paid attention to their Christian values and said nothing.

Thankfully, my hip was unharmed. I landed mostly on my surgical side, so despite my sore ass this morning, I'm okay. My arm and neck also hurt. At this point I'm just thankful 1) I didn't crack my head open and 2) my hip was not injured. There's likely to be some bruising though. I'm like a peach.

Ethan tells me lately that I need to work on my situational awareness and my clumsiness. Much of Sunday after said slip and church service was a series of little missteps, toe-stubbings, and near-falls. I'm beginning to wonder if I've got Vertigo or some other neurological nonsense. How many times can a person trip/fall in a month before one should talk to the doctor? I noticed some of the ice that morning, but not all. I miss-stepped and stubbed my toe on the leg of the ottoman that's always in the same place in our living room. "Pay attention to your situational awareness" says Ethan. He's not wrong! One night I woke up from a dead sleep having to pee. I stumbled to the bathroom, flicked on the light and nearly screamed: his bathrobe was hanging on the back of the door, but I thought it was a person. A person. Hanging on our door. Crazy, right? But that's what I saw. In that moment I felt like this:

Turns out the man with the shovel wasn't so scary.

But right after, I shook my head in disgust at myself and vowed not to tell Ethan in the morning (I did tell him). How does one "work on" not being clumsy and seeing what's around? Are there obstacle courses for that or something? This girl walks into door jams and thinks there are bathrobe monsters in the bathroom at night. Is there any hope for me? Not to mention, sidewalks are covered with ice. If I spend my time scanning the sidewalk for ice, I might not see a pole in front of me, then I'd walk into it. Apparently, I can't win.

I'm beginning to wonder if Ethan's going to start springing situations on me or jumping up behind me in the dark (he did that once recently and nearly got punched). Maybe he will, and maybe it will help, but I'm not sure anything can be done about the suckage of winter. Time to hibernate!

 

Not coming out. Not no way. Not no how.

If I don't leave my bed, how can I fall down or be scared by bathrobe monsters? Problem solved.

This time I didn't vomit

So, I didn't make it to the 2nd spin class that week, but I did go Thursday this week.   This week's ride was much better. First, as the subject tells you, I didn't vomit, which I considered victory number one! From the first round, I knew my limits, so I took it easy on myself this time. I also didn't eat anything before going to the class. I figured it was best to show up starving then to ralph everywhere after. I had worked out on the elliptical Monday and Wednesday, so my legs were already sore; not too far into pedaling my legs were ready to give out. I knew though that once you get over "the wall" and your muscles loosen up, it becomes easier, and that's what happened!

I played around with my seat a lot this time too, with the help of Molly (instructor). Here's what the bike looks like:

And it definitely is a monster. Getting the height and position of the seat right is super important. About 20 minutes in, my right hip started hurting. Molly came over to help arrange the seat and that helped a lot. I'll have to remember the markers for the seat. The seat; that dirty, evil, butt-killer. Soreness abounds. I asked about if getting a seat cover or padded shorts would help, but Molly said basically "grin and bear it." Apparently, you just have to keep at it, and then it gets better (remind me to make an "It Gets Better" vid for dead-butt).

These past two weeks, I've been working out a lot. Clothes are falling off of me. I'm really watching what I eat these days (though, I had a tiny sliver of cake at the office party today, but just one. And it was tiny. Moderation). Despite soreness, I feel better than I have in a long while.  I'll be back to spinning for next class on Tuesday (none on Turkey Day) and in the in- betweens, I'll use the elliptical. I have fitness and weight loss goals, but I also want to keep my hips in good shape; keep the fixed on strong and prevent surgery on the other.

So far, so good.

xo MK

Spinning!

I wish I were talking about spinning wool into thread because really, that would be an awesome skill to know, and would likely not cause me to vomit upon completion.

Yup. I did that.

One of the perks of working at UNE is that I get to use the fitness center for free (suck it, USM) and that includes classes! I'd done spinning before, way back in high-school/ early college days and remembered it being a hell of a work out. Since I'm trying to get in shape to look good in a wedding dress (yikesbikes) I thought I'd take the spin class Tuesday night at UNE. I laced up my sneaks, brought a towel and waited in the lobby with the other members. To my surprise and delight, the class was very very small. There was at least one other employee there, and she's my age, and a few really nice students. The instructor Molly, is a very nice adjunct faculty member at the University. They all immediately made me feel welcomed.

I don't know how many of ya'll have taken a spin class, but boy howdy (I'm not sure where this southern drawl is coming from) is it a work-out. I knew going into it that it would be intense, but wow. My heart was beating out of my chest earlier in the work-out than I'd care to admit. Molly had turned the lights down and the music up, and the vibe was all good. It didn't feel like people were judging me. What's nice about spin is that you control the resistance, so no one can really see where you're at. You can go at your own pace. I didn't want to skimp out; I knew I needed to ease in, but I did want to get something out of it, so I pedaled my ass off (more on my ass later) and broke a sweat.

About 10 minutes from the imaginary finish line, I had heart-burn that was out of control and I was a bit light-headed. I wolfed down an apple before class because I was STARVING which proved to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. Molly got off her bike and came over to me (oh the embarrassment) and came to check if I was okay. I slowed down my pedaling and took some deep breaths. I finished out slow and easy, but I finished!


My legs were jelly, but my hips and back didn't hurt (great success) but during the cool down stretch my body was like "Yo what the hell did you just do? You're not in good enough shape for this," and I got that sweaty, mouth-watery, dizzy, stomach turn-y vomit feeling. Molly could tell, asked me if I need the bathroom and I grunted and pointed at the trashcan. Yes. Right there in front of everyone. I ralphed in the trashcan. It kind of made me feel like a champion. Or a lame-ass. Or a combination of both. People were sweet about it, not hanging around, saying "Its fine, no worries" when I bemoaned my embarrassment. Someone even put my bike away for me. A sweet student named Kaitlyn walked me to my car, she wanted to be sure I wasn't going to pass out. Faith in humanity= still alive!


Truthfully, I felt much better after barfing, and I vow never to eat ANYTHING before the gym again. In the days that followed, still no hip or back pain, legs felt good, but Lord Almighty, my ASS. I felt like my butt was going to fall off. Sitting down for any period of time hurt. If I could have gotten a good look at my own undercarriage, I am certain it would have been black and blue and purple. I have an admittedly bony ass and I've always known it. If I had forgotten, that class reminded me. Cyclists/spinners- how do you deal with that?!

Call me crazy, I'm going back tomorrow. I would have gone Thursday last week, but I needed to eat dinner and leave for Bates for a concert and I didn't want to be exhausted and sore. I'm nervous, but also I can't wait. In my head, I imagined them in class Thursday night saying "wow I'm totally not surprised that Maria girl isn't here. Poor thing. We'll never see her again." I can't wait to prove them wrong.

xoxo

MK